By MICHAEL LEA

A FAMILY of toffs who swear almost once a MINUTE on a TV show are furious at being depicted as foul-mouthed slobs.

Hour-long fly-on-the-wall documentary The F***ing Fulfords features 53 expletives.

It is billed as an upper-crust version of The Osbournes — but ex-Guardsman Francis Fulford, 51, and wife Kishanda claim they were pushed over the edge by the strain of the cameras.

And Kishanda, 44, said she only learnt of the documentary’s title when friends saw it in a TV listings mag.

She raged: “We had no idea they were going to call it anything like that.

“I suppose they chose it because it sounds good.

“But swearing tends to be used by people who don’t have the vocabulary to say what they mean.

“The crew was here a long time and it took its toll.”

Politically-incorrect Francis utters 39 swear words in the Channel 4 documentary, shown tomorrow at 9pm.

Among his targets are the French — “Five thousand dead Frenchmen, a very satisfying result” — “fat” Germans, Americans and Scots.

And he boasts of his four kids: “They aren’t a bunch of poofs. I’ve nothing against queers but you don’t want to breed them because you can’t breed from them.”

But he insisted yesterday: “The title is a bit of an exaggeration. I swear more than most but I hope the film will not suggest it’s all I do.

“When I swear it is like a writer underlining a phrase. My bad language is the only thing we have in common with the Osbournes.

“My views may sound old fashioned but 20 years ago they’d have been mainstream.The Cutting Edge documentary focuses on the Fulfords’ financial struggle to maintain their 800-year-old manor house in Dunsford, Devon.

A Channel 4 spokesman said: “There is a lot of swearing but beyond that they are a lovely family.”
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photo at link.

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they've just had cleaning therapy!

The way I see it: What a filthy, rotten crowd

By Janet Devlin

featureseditor@belfasttelegraph.co.uk

02 July 2005

CELEBRITY chars Kim and Aggie donned their sequinned rubber gloves to clean up a stately pile this week.

A pile of what, you may ask? Dead animals, dog mess, filth, dust and grime, that's what, in How Clean are the F*lthy Fulfords? (8pm, Wed, C4).

Aristocratic anomaly Francis Fulford, his wife Kishanda, and their brood have been on telly before for their sheer eccentricity value (pictured).

But this time around the cameras were sent to 50-room Great Fulford to expose the dead bats, animal excrement, filthy floors, curtain and carpets.

"My wife loves cleaning..." FF told the intrepid two in the plummiest of tones, his impressively thick eyebrows twitching like caterpillars.

"I remove the dead animals and the dog turds, take out the rubbish and lay the fires."

It took a team of 39 to make a clean sweep of the three main reception rooms - including cleaning 80 windows, some of which had 200 panes of glass.

Lab tests revealed a zoo of germs lurking in every nook and cranny to which the Fulfords displayed a remarkably robust immunity.

"Told you so," said his lordship, "cleaning brings its own dangers!"

Kim and Aggie set to with lots of sensible household tips, including how to clean the labradors' muddy paws with cottonbuds.

The results were truly impressive - FF even committed to buffing up the parquet floor in a year's time, as "a manly sort of thing to do."

Only 47 rooms to go then. And, sorry to say, I think it's going to be a case of like father like son, when it comes to the Fulford dynasty's eldest son and heir.

"When I take over the estate," the chubby little chap pronounced, "I don't think I will keep it clean - but I hope my wife will."

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If it ever gets on BBC America, it'll be the bleeping Fulfords.  The Beeb, American style, allows pretty much anything to go on the screen visually, but God forbid an F-bomb get into the sensitive ears of U.S. viewers!