OH MY GAAAWD! Oh my gawd! I have just picked up a DVD cheap from a market stall of 'Alexander' with Colin Farrell playing the famous historical Greek soldier. However, forget about Colin Farrell for what do I see? Some blond stunner of a boy (is he wearing a wig - who cares?) stripped down to baggy briefs wrestling with some other gamely lad of equal stunning quality. Eagerly awaiting the credits I see this boy, to whom even the Ancient Greeks would have thrown themselves prostrate upon the ground in veneration of his beauty and immediately started to erect statues to his glory everywhere, is a boy actor called Connor Paolo. Who? What? I've never heard of him. Where has this child been hiding himself? What's more to the point - where the hell was his agent? He's appeared in relatively nothing ... zilch ... zip-ee-do-dar.
Of course, Connor only plays Alexander as a boy unfortunately when Oliver Stone should've made the film just about Alexander's boyhood. Who's interested in what came after when you have a boy actor of Connor Paolo's stunningness on set?
Needless to say, the film was panned by the critics. Time Out says: " ... the result occasionally hits Pythonesque travesty, but too often falls flabbily flat." Then it goes on: " ... Anthony Hopkins' Old Ptomely dodders around a kitsch Alexandrian academy... " What was so 'kitsch' about those boys in their whiter than white togas listening to Ptomely's wise words? Though I did wonder where the boys' mothers got their washing powder from as I assume there was no Daz or Ariel around then. My other book says it was "boring". What, with Connor Paolo in it? Never! I am sure the critics would have viewed the film much more favourably had it been about Connor Paolo ONLY!
This time I even sneaked a peek at BA's page on Connor Paolo. Another travesty of justice! A pic of him minus his blond wig, fully dressed and obviously a still from ANOTHER film! Who wants a still of Connor Paolo from another film when he's appeared looking scrumptious in 'Alexander'? Then the gallery has one measely picture of him taking outdoor lessons from a mile off. No pics of him a-wrestling-O. Well my gast is well and truly flabbered!
Frustratingly, I do not have the means to post stills of Connor in all his boyish wonderment and can only hope some kind member will fulfill that task for me.
Rating: Three stars for the film but ten stars + AAA status medal with Bar for Connor! All hail!