slightly off topic - but anyone looking for a job?

there are stimulatin' elf vacancies in the uk.

tho' a question arises

Sed quis custodiet ipsos Custodes

["who will guard the guards?" - (You need to Login or Register to view media files and links)]
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Elf warning over Santas

By NICK PARKER

ELVES are being hired by top stores to watch out for Santa perverts.

Specially trained staff, dressed in green velvet outfits with bells on, will keep a lookout to prevent kids being molested.

The elves, often retired people or actors, earn £10 an hour, against £15 for Father Christmas. One agency employs 150 elves to keep tabs on its 80 Santas.

Alison Berneye, director of Dream Time Management, said yesterday: “We wouldn’t dream of sending a Santa without an elf or two these days.”

The firm’s new policy has landed it with contracts for shopping malls throughout the UK — as other grottos are closed because of concern about sick Santas preying on kids.

Santas are also vetted thoroughly before they get the job.

Alison added: “We check references going back ten years and pay for applicants to be screened by the Criminal Records Bureau. We also check passports to make sure we know who we’re hiring.”

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some further disturbing elf-info - from norway :
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Santa's helper throttles teen

An outing to a shopping center ended with a shock for 13-year-old Joakim Osland.

A fjoesnisse, a kind of elf that traditionally occupies barns and wears a red cap associated with Christmas and Santa Claus, became frighteningly furious when Joakim tried to pet his hen, newspaper Firda reports.

Osland and two friends were at the shopping center over the weekend and went to see the fjoesnisse hired in to entertain customers. The nisse in question was standing with a wagon containing a little pig and a hen.

"I was a little curious. The hen didn't look like a normal hen," Joakim said. "She looked incredibly soft. I tried to pet her but she was so quick that she hopped away."

This seemed to drive the 'elf' berserk.

"He came up behind me and shouted at me. I didn't think elves did that kind of thing," Osland told the newspaper. "He grabbed me, first with one hand, then the other, so that he was strangling me. He said I should respect animals. The elf scared me a bit."

Joakim and his friends, Soelvi Hestvik, 15, and Rune Kristiansen, 15, thought the elf overreacted. After the throttling Joakim was red-faced, and had marks on his throat, they said.

"I was unlucky and grabbed (the hen) too hard, but I wasn't trying to hurt it. I love animals. I am used to having a cat, dog and parrot," Joakim said.

"Even so, a grown man shouldn't attack a 13-year-old," Soelvi said.

Aftenposten English Web Desk

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picture of peaceful elf : (You need to Login or Register to view media files and links)

This is a more traditional view of the fjøsnisse, who tends to spread Christmas cheer from a barnyard setting, and the visual connections to Santa are clear.

PHOTO: TOR JARILD

re the 'throttling elf' story - I hate to think what would happen if the tooth fairy had a bad day.